I realized my toxic parenting at the age of 14. I didn’t take that too seriously then because I had a hope that after 18 I will earn and then leave this place. But things gone worse day by day. i lost concentration in my studies and I lost my self confidence. I lost my ability to share my feelings in verbal manner. I am suffering from Anxiety since my childhood. I don’t have many friends to share my feelings. In a country like India where parents are given equal place to the god. It is very difficult for me to get a support from somewhere. But I had decided not to Give-up. I will try my best to survive in this world. I am doing a job as a digital marketer and now I want to learn a coding language to make my own AI bot. I will do hard work and learn the language as soon as possible. I am left alone in this world because no one understands my feelings. I live alone in a room talking with my-self. Trying to entertain my-self with some movies. I joined a group on Facebook named toxic mothers where people like me share their stories. I feel good by seeing that not only me in this world is facing toxic parenting. There people like me share their stories, give advice what to do, seeks for help, tell that how they survived toxic parenting. You can also join the group I will share the link if admin allows me. Okay now I will tell you guys what I am doing to survive when I am left alone:-
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Going to job
When my family refused to support me for my passion and career. I didn’t lost hope instead I focused on finding a job and guess what I got a job in just 8 days. I got selected on the same day of the interview. So my weekdays get easily passed by doing 8 hours job. It makes my focus away from toxic parenting. And it pay my bills also.
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Working on my passion
As I said earlier that I want to develop my own working AI bot . so for that I had to learn coding language. After my 8 hour job I do dinner and then I learn coding by reading books and watching tutorials on you-tube.
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Weekend surviving
Usually everyone like weekends but I don’t like weekends because I have to live alone in my room that made me feels isolated. On my weekends I usually do cooking last time I made pasta with white sauce. And it is very delicious.
Thanks guys I will share more of my lifestyle and my feelings in the next blog
You can read my other blogs also link is given below:
how my dysfunctional parents effected my mental health
signs that you suffered from dysfunctional parenting
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